10 Ugliest Animals In The World

Posted By Gavin McInnes

1- BLOBFISH
This depressing hunk of shit sits on the bottom of the ocean waiting for worm excrement to fall in his shitty lap so he can kind of eat it with his disgusting skin. I’d break his bones but he doesn’t have any. Fuck this guy.


2- BIRDS
Nice arms faggot. Not only are birds show off snobs who think they’re better than everybody, they’re also fat tubs of shit. Look at those legs. Talk about a pig on a stick.

3- DOGS
Just when you thought a dog couldn’t be more retarded looking (wait, your whole fucking face is a nose?), you get a little closer and realize his drool is black. What the fuck do you eat, death?


4- GIRAFFES
Nice dick fuckface.


5- BEARS
Bears are just dogs stuck in a hairy sleeping bag. You look like someone gave you 100 yards of extra skin for your birthday. Get lost.

6- FISH
You know what fish have going for them? Nothing. They have no limbs, no nose. They BARELY have eyes, and their stupid mouth is stuck in a permanent old man frown. Not only are fish the ugliest animals in the world, they are also the biggest losers.


7- CATS
Jesus Christ, could you have more fucking hair on your face please? You look like one of those Mexican circus sideshow kids who makes a quarter a day pretending he’s a werewolf. Fill a goalie mask full of Nair and go fuck off.


8- ELEPHANTS
Dude, how do you know when your bag even begins? Your entire shithead of a body is made of scrotal skin. Get a life.

9- LIONS
Nice fucking hair. You look like the Bee Gees fell in a blow dryer. I’m glad I’m not you and “I ain’t lion.”


10- DEER
Hey literal bonehead, your body hates you so much it grew you a chandelier hat. Ha ha ha ha. Nice garden supplies yamulke you fucking idiot douchebag loser scumbag zero of an animal.


SIMULTANEOUSLY POSTED ON STREET CARNAGE.

streetcarnage


Show Comments (40) / Post A Comment
  • Anonymous

    this is the funniest thing i ever saw in my entire life

  • Anonymous

    well this was nice. personally i'm a big fan of the blobfish. i do fancy some fondue though now.

  • robertevans

    Gavin, I may not agree with your last vid on weed or some of your political beliefs, but when it comes to shit like this I agree with you so much wanna start a couples band with you that would put captain and tennille to shame. great article

  • gilbert

    BORING! who cares?

  • Thanks

    Dear Mr Bonehead himself,
    this is probably one of the most useless and worst 'funny' articles/whatevers, i've (nearly) ever read…. you could have done such a better job with it. I don't know why it has made me angry but it has. I never write comments, but i feel like i want 15 seconds of my life back. Thanks

  • vicestyle

    terrible, never try to be funny ever again.

  • john

    gavin mcinnes is usually funny, but this is just shit

  • john

    gavin mcinnes is usually funny, but this is just shit

  • fffff

    this is ripped off of a series of somethingawful.com articles from a year ago that were way funnier

  • yes please. more please

    you guys are wrong

    this is fucking, fucking funny

  • delan_ey

    This is great!

  • jes

    you are so useless

  • alexx

    This is a total rip-off of 'Fuck You, Penguin'.

  • http://twitter.com/Ian_curtis Daniel Ca.

    this is fuckin great (not necessarily true) but hilarious thats what these these plastic turds don't get @alex @john @vicestyle

  • who was phone

    this is the most horrifically badly done 4chan ripoff.

  • http://insincerelyurs.blogspot.com/ Casey

    I am crying.

  • ashtonlewsey

    I neither think this is hilarious or shit.
    I just think it's TERRIFYING

  • Nick

    Ah, bless you. It was a good idea then you ran out of stuff to say so ended up repeating yourself but posted it anyway. Bet Vice could have done top 20. Bet you're like this on dates which is why you'll die alone slumped in a chair covered in your own shit and piss. Have a nice day.

  • Mellow Yellow

    I usually can't be bothered to comment on these articles, but I thought I'd let you know this is the biggest pile of cunt shite I've ever read. Kind regards.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/O32RQOX6OICGRDJ55VML4A7WZA Ian

    I wish they taut me to spik Amerikane at skol so i could rite retarded shit like dis.

  • xXx

    this is a lot like the shit on VICElan - oh, wait.

  • Joe

    What a poorly written list. It actually starts off with something interesting that I hadn't heard of before. Then it goes on to list 9 regular, every day animals and uses essentially the same description for each one? Huge waste of time.

  • Ginger

    You're saying gavin mcgunnes, the guy who invented vice in the first place is ripping off vice? You can't ripoff yourself. Or as Alfred Hitchcock said: “self plagiarism IS style.”

  • nelsonmandelson

    blobfish are the most fucking chill creature in the world. Who the fuck needs to do anything, when you have no bones and ur skin eats for you.

  • validemail

    platform goes from mind numbingly fucking boring to good awful these days. you've got to stop hanging around with those street carnage and vice types. YOU SOILED OUT MAAAAAAAAAAAN

  • yes please. more please

    that's the joke, idiot

  • bla

    totally agree.. more like Vice everyday.. and that's not a good thing

  • guest

    not a very good one though, is it

  • Louisa

    Crap.. this writer is crap and sounds like they've been booted out of Shoreditch. Stop swearing, stop trying to be cool and try writing an article of interest. Waste of time. I'm not reading this again.

  • yepepepepe

    google the writer's name

  • Thanks

    My sibling just showed me this to illustrate all that is sad, boring and wrong in the trendysphere…she is down and has lost all hope. i, however, see a positive future for every one and any one (apart from the writer of this feces), in that ANYTHING that will happen in future WILL (cannot be worse) be better than this.

  • Angdjoo

    whoa, fuck, a lot of people have no sense of humour…at all…

  • sho nuff

    this is fantastic. y'all ain't got no sense of humor.

  • neck ureself

    this sucks, at least u make ppl who say y'all laugh

  • Bill McGee

    Bleh, don't know why this was recommended to me. not funny. yes, I've a tremendous sense of humor. this is just poorly done, imho.

  • xxxxx

    WOW, you are all so stupid over there at Platform. At least 3 people seemed to miss this article was absolute garbage.

  • GLDFSH

    “Nice arms faggot” is probably the stupidest thing anyone could possibly say about a bird. I can't understand how this guy ended up as a journalist. Anyone who didn't know who he is would assume the article was written by a 14 year old with a particularly good arsenal of swear words

  • HLG

    'wait, your whole fucking face is a nose?' hahaha
    this is genius.
    i love gavin mcinnes

  • http://www.readplatform.com/10-sexy-female-celebrities-who-havent-aged-well/ 10 Sexy Female Celebrities Who Haven’t Aged Well - PLATFORM

    [...] Stumble This The only thing that gets more hits than weird animal lists is sexy lady lists so here goes: I got this from a site called Manofest and it’s basically a pile [...]

  • lzy

    twat (affectionate)

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10 Sexy Female Celebrities Who Haven't Aged Well - PLATFORM
2010-06-30 16:58:06
[...] Stumble This The only thing that gets more hits than weird animal lists is sexy lady lists so here goes: I got this from a site called Manofest and it’s basically a pile [...]

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