So I’ve been at home in bed shivering and trying not to die for past few days because of a case of what may or may not have been swine flu. I’m fine now, thanks for asking, but what I realised that in my state of ill-health I had two options.
Option 1: Put Knockin’ on Heaven’s door on a continuous loop, wrap myself up tight in my duvet, and generally feel sorry for myself.
or
Option 2: Get over it, pull my laptop up onto my chest, and enjoy the best online video the internet has to offer.
Here’s what I was watching…
Anyone, of any age, gender, or persuasion, likes to gawp at weird slags. That is a fact, and it’s for this reason that BBC3′s Snog, Marry, Avoid? is such a bloody success.
The premise is simple - girls and guys dressed in all kinds of appalling crap are given ‘make-unders’ by POD (the shows ‘personal overhaul device’ which is just an unseen woman speaking in a slightly robotic tone) who transforms them from walking abominations into what look like melted waxwork versions or celebrity dullards like Holly Willoughby or Jake Gyllenhaal.
But you don’t watch this show for the questionable results, you watch it because it allows you to realise that even in your current sickly state, with mucus coming out of every hole in your body and sweat dripping from your forehead, there are still people out there more disgusting and unattractive than you, and this knowledge is better than a hot Lemsip or a handful of paracetamol.
Besides this, the show is very entertaining. Girls can laugh at the appalling make up and clothes, tutting disapprovingly as they watch. Boys can pretend to disapprove while they actually enjoy watching girls in the underwear (also Jenny Frost the presenter is a cutie). For me, there’s a weird Educating Rita vibe going on, which I like. My case in point was when they had the Cheeky Girls on and somehow made them look really hot, honestly check it out!
But if I’ve not sold it to you, Harry Hill surely will.
If you thought nothing worthwhile came out of Canada you were wrong. Kenny Hotz and Spencer Rice are two best friends from Toronto Canada who battle each other in ridiculous competitions like ‘Who can keep a dead octopus on their head the longest’ and ‘Who can drink the most beer’. All you really need to know when watching is that Kenny always cheats.
At times it can be a little Jackassy and laddy, but it’ll make you laugh for sure and that’s all you really need when you’re feeling ill.
Head over to the bastion of internet-funny You Tube to see all their antics.
Any Hayao Miyazaki Film
If you’d watch Kenny Vs. Spenny to perk you up, you’d put on a Hayao Miyazaki film to calm you down – like diazepam on a long-haul flight.
Miyazaki is the master of Japanese animation, responsible for masterpieces like Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, and Howl’s Moving Castle, and I can think of nothing better than getting lost in one of his magical dream worlds when I’m feeling under the weather.
If you don’t have any of these DVDs in your collection then shame on you. But don’t worry the internet has you covered. You can watch Spirited Away in full here and Princess Mononoke here. But promise me are soon as you’re over this flu you’ll rush out to HMV, head for the world cinema section and buy the box set.
South Park
An oldie but a goody, with all 13 seasons available online at both xepisodes and All South Park you are spoilt for choice.
Everything after season 5 is pure gold and proves that Matt and Trey are still the sharpest satirical minds in comedy, hitting every pop-culture target from Guitar Hero, to World of Warcraft, and Twilight.
Other stuff…
If you don’t fancy any of my suggestions that’s ok, I won’t take it personally, and because I’m such a nice guy I’ll even give you a list of sites that are all bursting with content. Remember the internet is your oyster…
Surf the Channel - a cornucopia of drama, comedy, and film from across the globe
Ice flims - more TV and movies