If you have ever pondered whether too much anal sex will can give you cancer, if swallowing semen will affect the quality of your singing voice, or just want some suggestions for a good time to wear your butt plug (other than the obvious), then ‘Talk Sex With Sue’ is Must See TV. Even if you haven’t wondered about these things I still recommend checking it out, this show is like being handed a gift from the gods of comedy.
Like the greatest late night cable TV fare, you don’t start watching ‘Talk Sex..’ because you want to, no, you start because you are compelled to stare at in disbelief that someone ever green-lighted the concept. Lets start with the basic idea, running from 1996 until 2008 people could call in the television show live (in North America), and discuss their sex problems and queries, which is always going to be funny, especially when it has low production values. But to top it all off, the expert they talk to is Sue Johanson, a Canadian lady way into her 70s.
Sue is the woman who takes the show to the next level. Yeah it’s always funny to hear about people’s sex problems , but Sue completely unintentionally makes this show a comedy classic. She addresses the problems with the kind of zeal that only an elderly woman has. She’s like a lovely grandma off an advert, except she’s not teaching you how to bake cookies she’s telling you the best way to give a blow job.
Sue has a way with words, there’s no question and that is half the joy of the show. It’s all so wonderfully improper as you hear her tell one caller, who did not know what the date on a condom was for, “There’s nothing more scary than a shredded condom when you’re picking the pieces out of your vagina”, or when she suggests to another, “I’m wondering if he might not like it if you perform oral sex with your dentures out”.
There are, in fact, so many facets to her style: sometimes she impersonates how to talk dirty, or how to say no, which usually involves the phrase “Look here, big boy!” Sometimes she uses her hands to illustrate how certain sexual manoeuvres work, and if she needs to demonstrate positions she has two wooden dolls painted blue and red at the ready. One episode she even showed viewers how to make homemade sex toys: who knew a sandwich bag and a toilet roll middle were the perfect ingredients for a squishy vagina!?
The whole conceit carried out with such a clean cut manner makes it strangely endearing and totally unsexy. Callers always sound really nice and thank Sue for her work, one caller even saying “My grandmother and me watch your show all the time! We think you’re great!” So as much as one can enjoy scoffing the stupidity of the callers or at Sue demonstrating fisting, or going off on a tangent about how to tell your partner you don’t like golden showers, it all ends up being kind of heartwarming. Sue is an amazing woman who actually gives good advice and cares so much about her work and her callers. With a combination of sexual humour and genuine emotional warmth the effect of the show is like the bad TV equivalent of a Judd Apatow comedy.
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