I’ve heard of people calling this site misogynistic, which is frankly ridiculous, as men are obviously better than women. That’s why the world records for pretty much every Olympic record is noticeably more impressive for men than for women. If men competed against women in any sport – tennis, football, rugby, basketball – women would get their sexy little arses WHOOPED! Woof woof!!
Anyways, the world doesn’t revolve around sport, and men are built differently from women and have different biological purposes etc, so there’s probably really good reasons for all of what I’ve just said, and it doesn’t really affect women’s performance in anything other than sport…
However, there is one thing that I’ve never really understood. Why women aren’t funny.
Don’t get me wrong, women in real life can be funny, cute and give you the belly laughs. But that doesn’t seem to translate to famous women, or any kind of women on TV or in films. What the fuck’s up with that?
Years ago I thought there might be a contender for a funny woman on TV in the form of Phoebe from Friends. She was the ‘fall guy’ of the girls, would say silly things, and… then I realised that she wasn’t funny at all. In fact, she was by far the worst character in the whole fucking show! (even worse than Joey.. And his spin-off show was AWFUL). She was so predictable and ‘kooky’ it was a bore just to see her walk through that purple door of the apartment. Man, if I lived there, I’d just have walked out. And somehow, despite not being ugly, she was so far from hot! She was truly bringing nothing to the table.
Then appeared the Catherine Tate Show. It was all over the newspapers and internet with people saying it was the funniest thing they’d seen since the YouTube video of that fat boy falling off a diving board. So I thought, ‘ok, maybe I’ll be proved wrong. Maybe this woman on TV will actually be able to make me laugh’. But then I watched it… Oy, oy, oy. The whole concept was basically as if a school drama teacher has seen the ‘When the Whistle Blows’ part of Extras and missed the whole point, thinking that was actually really funny and what people wanted to watch. I didn’t need to watch more than half an episode to know that ‘Am I Bovvered?’ was going to make an appearance in every fucking sketch that character popped up in. I know comedy should be a subjective thing. But Catherin Tate was utterly and objectively NOT FUNNY.
The latest female hope is so unfunny I can’t even remember her name. I keep on thinking it’s Jo Brand (another unfunny abomination: ‘owww, my husband blah blah blah, my period blah blah, have you seen my tampons?’ UGH!), or Katy Perry (but she’s just an overrated pop star who I’m still surprised isn’t English). And I can’t find her on Google because searching for ‘fat overrated female comedienne’ doesn’t seem to return anything of use. Hopefully you’ll know who I’m talking about – and her? Well she’s not funny is she?
All of this changed a few weeks ago when I started watching 30 Rock and realised that it’s just about my favourite programme ever. And the most revelatory thing about it?? The lead character is…? Yep, you guessed it! A woman! And it was written by? Yep, a woman! The very same woman, in fact! I’m now so far up the arse of Tina Fey (despite the appalling Date Night film), that I can’t imagine life without her. Maybe I only find her funny because I secretly quite fancy her (she’s a really cute 39 year old), and maybe because her whole character is pretty much a woman carrying out male tropes (thinking of food the whole time, being awful and unappealing with the opposite sex, being useless at sex, telling ‘dad jokes’ that go down really badly..), but whatever the reasons I’m now totally sold on the idea that famous women can be funny. Or, at least that cute brunettes that I fancy can be funny.
Now that she’s opened my floodgates I can think of a few famous funny women. Jenny McCarthy - she used to be really funny when she was on MTV. But maybe that was just because she was fucking red hot and so just by being quite a ballsy woman she seemed to be the most remarkable thing I’d ever seen. And Chelsea Handler – who has a talk show in America. Again, she’s really hot, is essentially just really rude to the celebrities that come on her show and so seems to be the most unexpectedly funny person in the world. She’s currently trying to stop a ‘joke’ sex tape she did from coming out, and from the screengrabs I’ve seen of it, she looks pretty great. She should let the world see it.
The more I think about these three examples, the more it really seems apparent that the only famous women I find funny are really hot, American, and just act all rude and like they give a fuck (which is basically just what male comedians do anyway). Hopefully, I don’t find them funny purely because they’re attractive women and I secretly want to please them into sleeping with me. Hopefully someone reading this goes on to become the person who commissions comdy for the BBC so we won’t have to endure more awful examples of female ‘humour’ and our TV screens will be filled with super hot babes being really rude to celebrities, because that would be pretty much the greatest TV show I could imagine.