It’s been far too long since the righteous freedom loving warrior that is the Agony Uncle last dropped some knowledge bombs on the war on women’s emotional terror. For too long I let things slide, I let bitches run they damn mouths, I let pussy whipped guys play their position, I let guys think wanting to cheat on their girl was unnatural, I let women think they needed to be in a relationship, any relationship to be happy, I let guys think putting on nail polish before masturbating so it look like a woman’s hand is doing it was shameful but no more baby. I’m back, and I’m here to set things straight again. Straight regulate. Mount up.
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Yo big bear (yeh i know). Okay so theres this chick who is pretty damn fuckable, but she fucked about with me and my mate in the past and subsequently we arent mates anymore but he’s a pussy and she’s a whore and now they hate each other and she wants me back. What do i do fuck her take a shower and walk out never to speek to her again or just tell her its too late and to fuck off.
From Mr.Salacity via comments
I’d like the people to know the ‘Big Bear’ thing hasn’t got anything to do with my obsession large hairy gay men. First of all your boy is clearly on some faggot shit and you don’t need him on your team. Fuck that guy. You guys sound like a young’un because letting some chick get in the way of a male bond is some playground shit. My advice is to start dating this whore, you young bucks these days are too obsessed with those boring Madonna virgin bitches, just because those bitches don’t give up any pussy doesn’t make them any better than whores, if anything their worse. They act like giving up their pussy to you is a gift; ITS NOT A GIFT, those bitches are deluded. If it doesn’t work out and the bitch ends up being a crazy whore, then just take the L and move on with the knowledge that you gained some invaluable battle experience. (By the way, if you do get into a relationship with her, get some side pussy.)
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I recently broke up with this guy who claims he is God’s gift to the world (may I just express, he’s not even Hitler’s gift) but now he’s talking bullshit about me to loads of people! What should I do? Popping a cap in his ass is too much effort to make for a bitch…
From ZOO via comments
Walk it the fuck off. What did you fucking want me to say? Some empowering shit about how dat nigga ain’t shit and you go girl? Bitch, I ain’t got time for this any of this year 10 drama B.S. I got real shit going on in my life right now, have you ever squatted, one foot on the bathroom sink over a mirror because you suspect you might have external haemorrhoids? Ever had Irritable Bowel Syndrome? Ever had a burgeoning hip-hop career that fizzled into nothing? Didn’t think so. That shit is real. Come back to me with some real problems.
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I was fucking my best friend for about half a year, but just recently he got a super skank girlfriend. Do I sabotage the relationship, or do I leave him to be ‘happy’ i.e. getting laid alot by a sketty girl? Surely if I sabotage it I’m saving him from dick rot?
From Superviolence via comments
I wanna shake this motherfuckers hand for convincing this goofy hoe that they were good friends who just happened to be fucking. Play your position as side pussy. The reality is, to him this chick he’s with now is the latest issue Vogue and you’re just a copy of the Wetherspoons magazine used to mop up pint spillages. Leave the guy alone, the guys just tryna get some pussy that isn’t sloppier than a drunk guys mouth. Don’t ask me how I know a drunk guys mouth is like a loose vagina. I just do.
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i have a huge boner for half asian chicks but it can be hard to tell which ones are even legit mixed, and they are actually way harder to seduce than i first assumed. how do i hook up exclusively with eurasians?
From napoleon coneapart via comments
You honky Asian fetishists make me sick, always gassing up every average Asian chick and making them think their something special when really, those bitches ain’t shit. Stop making it harder for me to mash my own kind you Asiaphile fuck, with your obsession with lame animé cartoons (that shit is mad faggy bro) and dumb Facebook photo albums of your holiday in Japan (OH LOOK THEY HAVE VENDING MACHINES DAT ARE DIFFERENT TO OURS LOL!). It’s embarrassing for you and everyone around you. Everyone’s tired of dealing with your second hand shame.
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I have this guy friend who I really like, we made out once and get along really well and always make each other laugh and have a lot in common but he recently started dating my friend and I get realz jealous whenever we’re all hanging out and they are snuggling and shit. How do I get over him/break them up without hurting my friend?
From Anonymous via comments
I bet they don’t even make each other laugh, I bet they don’t even have that much in common and I bet he doesn’t get along with her as well he does with you….I’m also willing to bet your friend is palpably more attractive than you. If you really wanna grab this guy without hurting your friend you need to instantly become much better looking.
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