Friday 18th December

After I posted last night there was a stream of commenters, thanks to them as always, who advised me on what to do.  Most said Amy was an idiot, and that I should confront etc.  In all honesty, despite my dramatically petulant “I think I’ll be alone next year” vibe, I didn’t actually think it was that big a deal.  I text other girls, it doesn’t mean anything, so why shouldn’t she?  I’m not some uber-controlling boyfriend who wants to tie her down and get her pregnant so she can never leave me, then we can go on Jeremy Kyle and vomit live on air or something.  I’m a pretty laid back guy, I’m a chill bro.  However, the general theme of other people’s opinions seemed to be that Amy had done me damn wrong MuthaFucka, and I should tow the line a bit and tell her what for.  Being the impressionable person I am, I started to get slightly riled.

Then I thought again.  See she’s going on holiday today, in fact she’s already left.  So is there really much point pulling this apart now?  What’s the best outcome going to be?  That I was wrong and she wasn’t cheating on me and she goes away thoroughly pissed off and falls into the sleazy arms of some French ski instructor with a fondue fetish?  No thanks.  Worst outcome – she was cheating on me, and lies, but since she’s not a very good liar I would know she was cheating.  Then we’d leave it as this fake, “oh I’ll miss you too” thing, where I’d know she was a cheating slaaaag, and she’d think I was a dopey douche.  Even worse – she admits it, and I’m sad and lonely for Christmas, and while I know there are many songs that could empathise with me in that state, I’d still be pretty bummed out.  So I decided to leave it.  We had a good chat instead, and she said nice shit about the last few months.  She also made up for her initial dissatisfaction at my present, claiming she’d been “overwhelmed, and simply hadn’t known what to say.  I mean, wow!”

As I said, she’s a terrible liar.

So I’m still gonna be alone this Christmas, but only through location.   Therefore I’ll probably be blogging regularly.  Are people online at Christmas?  I feel like Internet etc. is so new I don’t really know the protocol – is it bad to twitter about your presents?  Should I not do a twitpic of my dinner?  What about tapping through the holiday photos of hot girls from School on facebook?  Bad look?  Ebay must be a goldmine on the 25th, loads of crap you don’t need going for far cheaper than it should.  That’s living!  I really hope there’s good telly on Christmas day so I can get my Mum drunk and encourage her to have a lie down, while I gorge myself on chocolate and watch hour after hour of yuletide programming.

But what if Amy is cheating?  Is there anyway I could find out without having to admit I looked at her phone?  That’s such a low thing to do, I’m not that up for revealing I stooped to that level.  Does it really matter if she does like someone else?  I mean, obviously it does, but I think I’d probably still want to go out with her.  And if she does like this other person, it’s not enough to make her want to dump me.  Or maybe she’s just pitting us against each other…

OK.  OK, I have to stop this.  I’m gonna go eat 5 mince pies and test Mum’s recently brewed mulled wine.  It smells like shit.