There are always articles in magazines about getting guys to want you based on what you wear or how you act, but usually the suggestions are way too subtle. There is no way that just wearing a red dress is going to make a guy fall head over heels for you if you’re ugly. And you know what happens to ugly girls looking for cunnilingus; shit gets violent.
That’s pretty much you, but you don’t want to have to come to blows with the law enforcement. It’s embarrassing. You were just looking for was a good time, and then that deputy arrived and saw you naked from the waist down. Unless he plans on having a go as well, you don’t want that. Here’s how to get the boy of your dreams to notice you.
1. Don’t Be Coy.
My idol, Cher from “Clueless” said, “Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds guys of being naked and then they think of sex.” This is what this is like, except you have the word “BLOW” on your head. This will likely make them think of sex as well.
2. Focus on Your Vagina
Don’t let him forget that even though it’s you who’s chasing him, you’re the one with the vagina. As a heterosexual man, it is his duty to want vagina. Let these clothes/accessories serve as a reminder of that duty. Behold, the vaginal trend.
Dubbed the “purssy”
By Pleasure Doing Business With You
Peep-toe Booties = Peep-yo’ Booty
The XXX Shoe, opposite of:
The Rocking Chair Shoe
What to wear if he asks you to prom.
Warning: Stay away from these hermaphrodite sheaths at all costs:
Keep your days as a docent at the aquarium to yourself.
I can’t stress this enough: you’re the one with the vagina.
<3 It
3. Slut Out
Then again, you could always take the old-fashioned route and just slut out. Because you want him by Xmas, and the countdown has already begun, you have very little time to waste. I know it’s cold, but you’re desperate. There are endless ways to slut out.
For instance, the Sheer Suspender Body Stocking: One Size Fits Most.
This is a tad risqué for the courting phase of your relationship. Allude to the promise of a sheer suspender body stocking with thigh highs.
American Apparel knows what’s up when it comes to the art of slutting.
She doesn’t mind being in a sheer top in the snow. Boys like her.
Boys also like her. Look at how they’re all fighting to lift her up and even fainting from her powerful sexuality. Now notice the red arrow on her crotch. They’re simply following instructions. The boy of your dreams probably put stuff together as a kid and is used to following arrows. If you put an arrow on your crotch, he’ll be left with no choice.
HAPPY HUNTING!
You’re welcome.
