In the past we’ve covered how to get it together with girls extensively, but we haven’t yet let the girls know how to get a man’s attention like a stripper would. This is where this blog that dispenses advice to newbie strippers comes in. The rules of the strip club can translate to real life, especially when you’re after a guy—treat him like a hustler would.
(illustrated by Demi in Striptease, so all the boys can reminisce about wearing out a VHS tape in a particular spot, and having sweaty palms)
1. Eye Contact
When you are on stage try to make as much eye contact as possible. When you look them directly in the eye, especially from stage, they will feel special. Even if they don’t tip, you will stand out as the one who made them feel special. Some men don’t tip on stage because they feel embarrassed standing up in front of the patrons. Always try to notice which men are watching you. Even if they didn’t tip, it couldn’t hurt to approach them anyway.
She’s right. The first step in pulling a dude is getting him to look at you. Even if you aren’t the prettiest girl, staring at him shows you’re interested. Guys are pragmatic, so they’d rather talk to you (who they have a chance with) than a glazed over model in a cocaine corner.
2. The Approach
Walk seductively and confidently up to him, smile big, and enthusiastically ask him if he would like some company. It’s very important you appear friendly and happy. He needs to believe you really want to sit and enjoy his company. Men are intuitive, as well. If they sense you do not want to be there they will pick-up on it. If they sense you have low self-confidence they will pick-up on it. If they sense you anticipate rejection they will pick-up on it. Do your best to rid yourself of any negativity before your approach. You must be convincing. Also, be prepared to face rejection. This is only natural and comes with the territory. It’s part of being a dancer. He may be waiting on another dancer, he may be shy, he may need a drink first, or you simply might not be is type. You can’t win ‘em all. Never take it personally or allow it to get you down. If you ask three gentlemen for their company and they all say “no”, take a break for a few minutes and try again.
Since you’re not a stripper, getting a dude isn’t as do or die as this, but the general ideas are the same. Walking seductively and confidently is a big, big deal. Act like the club is your living room—own it, bitch, ooownn it! Also, don’t let rejection bother you. If this is a real life situation, he won’t be so inclined to tell you to leave, but sometimes you can tell he isn’t interested. His loss.
When you are not busy entertaining the gentlemen, try not to let them see you just sitting around. Men want what other men want. If you are sitting around doing nothing, the gentlemen may assume there is a reason for it. If you can’t find anyone to let you sit and dance for them try to excuse yourself to the dressing room or another part of the club. Stay out of sight for a little while. That way, when you re-appear on the floor or stage they will think you have been busy. If one man buys a dance from you it will start a snowball effect. If you’re absolutely desperate to start the snowball rolling you may even give one special gentleman a free dance. The other gentlemen won’t know it was free. They will see you are busy and want a part of the action. This has been proven to work.
Did you read “Gone With the Wind”? You know when Scarlet is at that party the night before she’s decided that she’s in love with Ashley? She makes sure that every guy in the room is falling for her, but pays no attention to him. Be flirty, or if you don’t want to bother with other guys, look like you’re having a good time with your friends (you should be anyway, but exaggerate it). Men really do want what other men want, it doesn’t even matter what it is. If you can control this masculine jealousy impulse, you will probably go far.
“Now that you have made their acquaintance, it’s time to charm their pants off. No wait… it’s time to let them think they’ve charmed yours off.”
This is a pretty big one, too. You should always play the defensive, even if you go up to him. Let the guy take the lead, because this is what makes men feel like “men.” So, even if you want someone and you’re aggressive about it, you need to act subtly flirty. You can pretty much control a man based on how slowly you blink your eyes—they perceive that you like them through intense pauses; I read this in “Glamour”.
3. Conversation
Once you have made his acquaintance much of your success will depend on timing, so use your intuition. All people have it and women seem especially attuned to it. If he seems uninterested in conversation keep in mind he might be intimidated, shy, or simply a poor conversationalist.
Always stay positive! For example, if he asks how your day/night has been always enthusiastically reply “excellent!” And in return ask how his day/night has been. When he answers, ask why. Keep him talking. Never complain. Never insinuate that it’s a slow day and you’re not making money. Never tell them you are sick, your dog has died, etc. Always stay positive. I can’t emphasize this enough. Always Stay Positive!
The key is to get him to warm-up to you. Flirt, flirt, flirt! He needs to believe he has a chance with you and that you really like him. Below you will find a list of questions and resources which might help him open-up. Some are typical and some are not. The answers are virtually irrelevant. The important thing is he is talking and you are communicating. People love to talk about themselves.
This is all good. Guys want women to be cheerful and happy; this is because women make men very happy—this is why they pay money for us. When they think of women they feel better, so why not feed him the idea that we’re just as happy to be around them? And if you want to pull him, chances are you’re stoked anyhow. Even if you’re nervous, that comes off as flirty and giggly—which they also like. And yes, people like to talk about themselves. Ask him about him, and then repeat something back to him later on for bonus points.
4. What To/Not To Say
Some basic conversation starters: (These may seem dull and unoriginal, but they do work.)
Where are you from?
How long have you lived here?
Where did you grown up?
Where did you go to school?
What was your major?
What do you do for a living?
What do you like to do for fun?
If they say they travel a lot, ask where to and what their favorite travel locale is.
What sports do you like? Try to stay up to date on this.
What do you do in your spare time?
Bring up something funny that happened to you.
Fun sexy questions to get him in the mood for a dance:
What turns you on?
What is your favorite position?
Use your imagination, be creative. If you’re comfortable talking sexy and the situation seems ripe for it, go for it!
Remember, you’re not actually a stripper. If you ask sex questions before there’s any follow up to it, he’s going to think you’re slutty. I like acting coy or like a lady-virgin sometimes. On the other hand, if you just want to sleep with him, go for it. Ask him if you can sit on his face to get it out of the way and get a better idea of his comfort zone.
What not to ask:
Stay away from taboo subjects; such as politics and religion. If they want to talk about these subjects great. Stay educated about them just in case. Typically, they do not want to talk about work and family. They are usually there to escape exactly that part of their life. Always try to ask open-ended questions; which can not be answered with a monosyllabic yes or no response.
Since you want to know about his work and whether or not he has a family off the bat, ignore this. Also, you want to know if he votes for the wrong person, because that shows A LOT about him. You want him to be your boyfriend so you’re allowed to ask whatever you want; but yes, avoid the yes/no questions unless you have a follow up. But, honestly, no one thinks this far in advance; and, if “Seinfeld” taught me anything, it’s that you need an awkward pause otherwise there won’t be a kiss. That’s why Jerry and Elaine didn’t work out—not enough awkward pauses.
She includes links:
Here are some good resources for conversation starters:
Some very unique questions:
http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/question.html
Keep it light:
http://searchwarp.com/swa45156.htm
I like that she included links.
Note: If you are still having no success and you feel like conversing with the gentleman is like pulling teeth, perhaps he’s simply a dud. Remember, you can’t make money if you don’t ask. Ask for the dance. If he says no, move-on to the next one.
We have to do some real-life translating here. A “dance” could mean a kiss, or a number—whatever you want the next step to be. You can kind of hint at the number thng, but if he doesn’t ask he probably won’t call, so don’t even lose pride like that. Like she says, if the dude is a dud then it’s over—don’t bother wasting time.
EMILIE BRANCH
