Story from Gawker: (respect to Ben Leo for the tip)
Arkansas Supermarket Covers Up Magazine with Photo of Gay Family
Oh Lord. A Harps supermarket in Mountain View, Arkansas has placed a “family shield” over the Us Weekly cover of Elton John with his partner David Furnish and their new baby, to protect innocent children. From Mr. John’s crazy glasses?
Put away the knee jerk reactions for a second and be totally honest – you get why this would be offensive to some people, right?
Those broad smiles, the bright beaming optimism in their eyes, the warm radiant glow of human contentment screaming at you from the front cover – it’s just too gay. Totally, completely, utterly fucking GAY.
It’s January. I haven’t had sex since the new year started. I’m sick with the flu. It’s so cold outside my teeth hurt if I even try to smile. The last thing I want to see is a rich, gay celebrity couple staring at me from the grocery store magazine rack, intimating to me through their expression all the bliss I am currently not experiencing, while I shop for supplies to make dinner for one. It’s offensive. I’m so far from being gay right now that I refuse to accept anyone else’s gayness. I’m a good person.Why do I have to be depressed while Elton John gets to be rich, famous and gay?
I also understand Harps’ concern for the children. How irresponsible is it for us as a society to allow kids to see this kind of gay imagery? As adults we all know the world is a huge, blue, spinning piece of shit. We work day jobs to infuse our lives with some hollow sense of purpose and the only way we know how to feel good is by finding clever ways to believe we’re better than other people.
Life is shit. We need to reinforce this idea to our children so they grow up in a realistic head space. If a 6 year old were to see the cover of this magazine they might be led to believe that it’s possible to be happy as an adult and that’s just not true. We have to dissuade them from wanting to be gay adults. The last thing we should be exposing them to is a photo promoting such rampant, unchecked gayness.
If you read the bible, like I do, then you know it’s clear that God does not want us to be gay. He frowns upon material wealth, expects us to feel shamed by sex and forbids drunkenness. How could anyone be gay under those rules? If anything we should be the opposite of gay, because it’s the Christian way to live.
I stand by Harps decision to censor US Weekly. It’s what Jesus would do.
***
All double entendres aside, if I knew being gay (see:homosexual) could make you that happy I would have put a dick in my ass a long time ago*.
Also, the GOD HATES FAGS crowd need to realize that if being on diaper duty keeps Elton John out of the studio we all win.
*not counting that time in college
